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  • Jonathan Parker

005: A Marriage in Progress - Tactical Support for Law Enforcement Relationships with Victoria Newma

Vicki Newman is an author, speaker, and police wife to a CHiP, a member of the California Highway Patrol. She has over 15 years of experience mentoring and providing resources to spouses in family-related problems, and has conducted extensive research into the needs of law enforcement families.

This episode features Vicki's book, A Marriage in Progress: Tactical Support for Law Enforcement Relationships, which is available on Amazon and on Vicki's website. It is more officer oriented in perspective as a sort of training manual for off-duty life, and is a companion to Vicki's first book, A CHiP on My Shoulder: How to Love Your Cop with Attitude, which was more spouse oriented in perspective.

During the conversation with Jonathan, Vicki shares from chapter 7 of her book on the topic of "rules of engagement" - rules for fighting fair. She examines the tools on an officer's duty belt as a way to establish rules for positive engagement.

She concludes the discussion with three very practical words of advice that listeners can implement immediately to begin strengthening their marriages:

1. Remember, complacency kills. Invest time, with intentionality, in your relationship. Vicki uses the example of a show car, and says that we must nurture, protect, and care for our marriage. Even if it's not wrecked today, a challenge could (and most likely will) come later on.

2. Get plenty of sleep. Vicki shares that practicing good physical care, beginning with getting enough sleep, goes a long way towards placing spouses in a position to care for one another.

3. Have positive people around you who will support you and your relationship. Isolation is the enemy, so support each other and find mentors, family, and friends that will support you.

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